I Am Most Definitely NOT Thankful for Autism!

It’s the season where everyone is focusing on the things for which we are thankful. Since I have lots of parents of children with autism spectrum disorders on my Facebook page, it seems that each day at least one of these parents posts something like, “I am thankful for autism, because……” Let me go on record. I am most definitely NOT thankful for autism in any form!
Why would I be thankful for a developmental disability that has been so harmful to so many children and destroyed and altered so many families? Let’s face it. Autism stinks! I could have lived my whole life quite happily without ever encountering autism, much less living with it every day. And I’m willing to bet you that your loved one with autism feels the same way!
Now before you think I’ve have lost my mind, I do understand that when parents write they are thankful for autism, they mean they are thankful for the things autism has taught them. They mean they are thankful for all of the wonderful people they have encountered on this trip into the alternate universe. They mean they are thankful for their children and their family.
Perhaps the thing I which I am most thankful is that autism hasn’t broken me yet. I’m still standing. I’m still fighting. I’m still helping. And so are you!
The thing for which I am most thankful is acceptance. Acceptance brings clarity and a type of uneasy peace, but peace. Once I accepted that this life had been chosen for me and that I had no power to change that, acceptance followed. Acceptance is a hard concept, because often we equate acceptance to defeat. If I accept that for now there isn’t a cure, then I’m giving up. If I accept that my child thinks differently from others, then I’m giving up on him or her being “normal.” Nothing could be further from the truth!
I believe that acceptance should be equated with celebration. Celebration of the person—not the disability. Celebration of the gifts—not the differences. Celebration of survival—for all involved.
So now I will tell you the things for which I am MOST definitely thankful. First and foremost, I am thankful for every child I have ever met with autism. I have learned more from them than I have from any book or any parent. And I am particularly thankful for Temple Grandin. Her ability to talk about her experience and to teach so many of us has changed my son’s life and the lives of thousands of children with all forms of autism spectrum disorders.
Please forgive me before I even say this (because the government isn’t very popular right now), but I am thankful for the government of the USA. Without the government and it’s grandfathering, mentoring and grant programs, I would probably still be an uneducated person working in a routine job. I have been so blessed to be at the right place at the right time to take advantage of some of the finest disability training, all at government expense while I was also being paid to do a job! Only in the USA.
I am so thankful to be living in the USA. Yes, justice is often hard to find here for our children and adults with disabilities, but we have the right to fight for justice and bring about change without being arrested or even killed. While we continue to be frustrated by hard it is to obtain a free and appropriate public education for our children and adequate services for our adults, I am thankful that it is even a possibility for us.
And I am thankful for you—all of my dear “parent” friends of kids with ASD. My world is rich because of you. I have learned more about survival, perseverance, justice, hope and kindness from you than I ever dreamed possible. It is an honor to know each of you and I look forward to continuing to work with and get to know many new parents each year